Gene Tsudik

Lois and Peter Griffin Professor 
Computer Science Department
Pewterschmidt School of Information and Computer Sciences

University of Caliphoneya, Irvine

Some of my favorite moronic expressions polluting modern-day (American) English:

• Disenfranchised minority -- a tragedy in three acts:
  1. once, there was a minority,
  2. it was then happily en-franchised, and then,
  3. some (evil) force dis-en-franchised it
• Innocent women and children -- either/or:
  1. men are guilty, one way or another, or
  2. there are some women and children who are not innocent
• Vicious assault -- there must be soft, considerate and gentle ways to assault someone
• Brutal murder -- somewhere, someplace murders are comfy, cozy and pleasant
• Aid and abet / rot and decay / cease and desist / lewd and lascivious -- redundancy never, ever, ever, ever, ever hurts in aiding comprehension, right?
• Mean-spirited attack -- when attacking someone, please strive to do so in a kind-hearted and well-meaning manner
• Hard-working people/immigrants/etc. -- as opposed to lazy and slovenly (people/immigrants/etc.)
• Country/nation/ethnic-group with a long and rich history -- in contrast to those others with short, lousy and poor history
• Civilian population -- some populations must be purely military
• Intelligent design -- a mythical alternative to totally stupid, brainless design
• Saggy and droopy -- whatever this phrase refers to is usually sad enough, so why rub it in redundantly?
• Proud nation/country/people/ethnic/group -- better than those who are ashamed of themselves and generally depressed about being what they are
• What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger -- an idiotic adage that holds particularly well with people in a coma as well as para- and quadra-plegics.
• An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind -- a moronic proverb (attributed to Gandhi) that can be interpreted as: No eye for an eye leaves only criminals sighted.
• Hate Crime -- a real linguistic gem that refers to any crime committed while bearing ill will towards the victim(s). Makes one wonder why similarly appealing concepts of "Love Crime", "Adulation Crime", "Contempt Crime" or "Diss Crime" are not being popularized.