If someone were to become Jesus it would be an event with massive, worldwide implications. As such, there are several main factions which have invested millions of dollars and man-hours in trying to influence who, if anyone, is the next Jesus.

The Christian Church
Goal: Prevent Anyone from Being Jesus

  The Christian Church has long been sticking to the idea that only those who are born the son of God can be Jesus. This does go a long way to explain why Dave Christ had such amazing powers, but thus far bejesus has not been shown to have any particular racial preference. Still, the Church has painted itself into a corner here. Its not as though they can turn around and say "Oops. Our bad. Turns out, any given Jesus may or may not be the son of God, it kinda depends. So, the first one was, but this second coming is just some schmo". Essentially, they're just going to have to bow down to whoever is the next Jesus. This is more likely than not going to work out pretty badly for the whole religion.
  There's also the issue of having to write a whole new, new testament for him or her. If theres a lot of Jesuses coming any time soon the bible could get really long. And how about the fact that they will almost undoubtedly have some new communion-like ritual dedicated to them. Church is already widely regarded as taking too long.
  The point is, the last thing the Christian Church wants is another Jesus. They vigorously oppose all candidates, sometimes sending special attack squads to confuse bejesus out of them. This tactic, popularly known as the Second Spanish Inquisition, can often come quite unexpectedly. As victims of the first Inquisition learned the Church can be a dangerous enemy to have, luckily there are also allies of those who would be Jesus. One of the more powerful of these is...

Hallmark
Goal: Make Someone with a Summer Birthday Be Jesus

  There's no denying that Hallmark makes a killing. How could you not, charging $3 for a thick piece of folded paper? This is especially true around Chistmas, where their position as the number-one converters of money into presumptions of caring expands to allow for the sale of a mind-boggling array of ornaments decorations and knick-knacks. Now imagine if everyone had to buy all of these things again, the profits would be massive! Hallmark CEO Herbert Jefferson realized this and most importantly realized a plan to make it happen.
  Why exactly do we celebrate Christmas on December 25th each year? Because that's the date on which Dave Christ was born of course. Now do you see it? The birthdate of the next Jesus will determine when Christmas is celebrated for years to come!
  Thus Hallmark has made it its goal to make sure this date lands somewhere in the summer to ensure the massive rebuying of Hallmark's newly-developed newly-themed paraphanelia. Summer has long been a dead time for the company's sales, but no longer! Ornament-covered palm trees, treat-filled swimsuits and Santa's caravan, led by 8 tiny camels are to be the new symbols of Christmas.
  Hallmark's aid comes primarily in financial form, but they have been known to make tactical strikes against enemies. Their main supportee is currently magician Sigfried, though he will likely need more help than they alone can provide to overcome the juggernaut that is Don King.


  And so concludes our online primer in bejesus theory, be sure to check out the other highly informative articles on the rest of the site. And remember to check back often for the latest bejesus news at your number one online source, Bejesus Quarterly.