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Page 3
Sims 2 (Continued from page 1)
We had a brief moment to talk to a head programmer in charge of the game, Ted McAfee. Apparently, the folks
at Maxis are big believers in Bejesus Theory and were disappointed they couldn't include it in the first game.
Ted explained, "now that we've got a bit more credibility we could include not only the bar, but several other
references. You'll notice one of the default families is even Mary, Joseph and Dave Christ". We made him promise
to send us a pre-release copy as soon as possible, and we'll get the review to you as soon as he does!
Screenshot 1: Here we see one Sim completely scaring the bejesus out of another. If you look at the bottom-right of the
screen you'll notice an appropriate movement of the bejesus bar. Clearly this person is none too close to being
Jesus, but hey, few are! (Click images to enlarge)
Screenshot 2: Our second shot shows the same hapless Sim getting the bejesus slapped out of him. This sort
of thing hopefully wouldn't happen to ofter in the actual game or your little people would go insane!
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WWTBJ? (Continued from page 2)
...So how does the show make anyone actually become Jesus? According to broadcast executives
there will be a scheme by which each week's winner will get all of the bejesus from the other
competitors. This will continue in a single elimination type fashion, with each weeks winners playing
eachother until the grand winner has the bejesus of everyone competing.
We at Bejesus Quarterly, while excited to see bejesus theory being brought further into the
public light, must express our concern. It seems to our editors that, in an uncharacteristically
commercial move, FOX is using a controversial topic to get ratings rather than relying on their
high-quality programming. The protests regarding the show will raise ratings, and Millionaire's
success can only help, but the only person likely to become Jesus thanks to this show is the host.
With sets even more frightening and questions even most confusing than Millionaire's, there is almost
no hope for anyone to retain even the least bit of bejesus. For example, Regis Philbin (0.25 Jesi)
gained a tidy bit of bejesus this way on his show, so our new host will have to be watched closely.
Our sources were tight-lipped on the matter, but rumors persist of Mr. Death himself, James Woods,
as well as maybe even global leader Don King hosting this exciting, if controversial new show.
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