Chancellor's Professor of Computer Science
formerly known as
"Lois and Peter Griffin Professor" and "The Simpson Family Professor"
Quagmire Computer Science Department
Pewterschmidt School of Information
and Computer Sciences
University of Caliphoneya, Irvine
There are two equivalence classes of idiots:
- Those who yearn for the past that never was.
- Those who dream of the future that never will be.
Quotidian Wisdom (speaking of idiots):
- For every pithy inspirational quote, saying or proverb, there is army of idiiots willing to believe it.
An urgent message to all humorless barbarians inhabiting this long-suffering planet:
- As a free human being, I reserve the right to disrespect, mock, parody, laugh at,
and disbelieve any
and all of your deities, saints, prophets, idols, holy fools, political leaders, gurus, kings, presidents and presidential candidates.
A moralistic sermon for PhD students:
Crypto Poetry for the masses:
Flowchart for prospective PhD students:
Venues and Publishers to avoid:
Gene Tsudik is a Chancellor's Professor of Computer Science
at the University of California, Irvine (UCI). He obtained his PhD in Computer
Science from USC in 1991. Before coming to UCI in 2000, he was at
IBM Zurich Research Laboratory (1991-1996) and USC/ISI (1996-2000).
His research interests include many topics in security, privacy and
applied cryptography. Gene Tsudik is a Fulbright Scholar, Fulbright Specialist (twice),
a fellow of ACM, a fellow of IEEE, a fellow of AAAS, and a foreign member of Academia Europaea.
From 2009 to 2015 he served as Editor-in-Chief of ACM Transactions on
Information and Systems Security (TISSEC, renamed to TOPS in 2016).
Gene was the recipient of 2017 ACM SIGSAC Outstanding Contribution Award.
He is also the author of the first crypto-poem published as a refereed paper.
He suffers from two incurable academic diseases: "Research ADHD" and "Munchausen-without-Proxy".
- Computer & Network Security
- Applied Cryptography